Living Without Direction
At times in life we are all asked to live without a sense of purpose. This is especially common for those living on the fringes of society or those who are quite advanced on the Path.
Whether we’re aware of it or not, society has always shaped us and given us purpose. We are programmed from a young age with clear expectations, landmarks and milestones to navigate life; have a lucrative career, buy a house, find a husband/wife, raise a family, become successful (whatever that is) and so on. These expectations (or goals) serve to protect us, motivate us and give us direction, and allow us to compare ourselves against others to determine our worth.
So what happens when you can no longer rely on them?
This article is for those who feel aimless in life, but in particular, for those old spirits who have reached the point where they no longer need or care for other people’s expectations.
Your First Steps
You may find yourself floating or drifting through a void, unattached to the world, or perhaps lost and confused, as if you’re trying to navigate a maze. It’s a very unpleasant seeming sensation at first, because you’ve been programmed since you were very young to require goals set for you by other people and to feel frightened and dis-empowered when you don’t have them.
These goals are a safety blanket. You don’t need them.
The first step is to just sit and accept what is. When you’re ready, start asking yourself questions, such as those listed below:
What does having direction mean for me?
Why do I need direction in life; can’t I simply Be?
Why is it that everyone else claims to know better than I what I should do or become? (e.g. society, governments, “experts”, authority figures in your community etc)
Is my life that much harder without it?
Have I been relying on anyone else in my life to supply me with direction instead of relying on my own, internal compass?
As you start to frame your questions objectively, you’ll realise that you’ve never explored the question before because you never needed to. Whenever you had a question, authority figures within society were always ready with the answer. You never needed to sit and really think about who you were or where you were going because you were always told.
That’s the sound of your training wheels coming off. You are now pedaling under your own steam. At this point, all support has fallen away and you have become the sole determinant, the sole power in your life. You determine the course to take and the speed to take it. You determine the journey, the result and everything in between.
You have in effect, taken your first step as a creator being.
Crawl Before You Walk
It’s important to realise that this is a very unfamiliar sensation. Those easy answers that gave you a sense of progression no longer serve and so you are the only one who determines what is important in your life, when and how. The very real danger here lies in tackling the path at a pace that isn’t suitable for you (or perhaps worse, not doing anything at all, a common trap many old spirits fall into).
Think of when you first learned to ride a bike. Once those training wheels came off and mum and dad stepped back, you were probably nervous. You peddled a little bit and you fell off. So you pedaled more and fell off again. So you pedaled even more and found that, with enough momentum, you could maintain your balance. Then you tried going the other way and you raced off, only to crash again. This teaches an important lesson. Life is always about balance. Don’t walk your path before you’ve first learned to crawl on it! Be patient.
Say No to Angels!
Some people will say, “Oh, just ask your guides/angels/spiritual guru to help you figure things out”, to which I will just shake my head, because these people don’t understand and are used to being led around by the nose (be especially wary of any “channeled beings” who claim to want to help you, whether directly or through another. They love naive people who lack the willpower to direct themselves).
The key here is in recognizing that you are now the authority on you. To turn to spirit guides/channeled beings etc for anything other than advice (and I would argue, even then) is to completely undermine the point of the lesson you are learning.
You are supposed to feel lost. It’s supposed to unnerve you, that’s what motivates you to figure out your truth, what you want in life and how to get it.
To ask for anything more than basic guidance is completely missing the point!
The Other Side of Enlightenment
Part of the deal pre-enlightenment (that would be Awakening, for those people too frightened to use the correct term) is that you have help, a support network. You have friends and family, you have karmic contacts with whom you resolve entanglements and debts from past lives and you have ongoing support from your spirit guides. All of these forces give you something to aim for and provide a sense of progression and direction in your life when you are unable to provide it for yourself.
On the other side of the fence, things look very different.
Not only will you not connect as well with those people, but your guides leave you to fend for yourself. At least, mine did. They recognize far earlier than we do at what point we need to leave the nest, spread our wings and fly for ourselves.
Except you don’t just leave it, enlightenment (placeholder link to What is Enlightenment, Really?) throws you out and you plummet towards the ground, until you realise that there is no ground and there is no air, so there is nothing to head through or towards and you are always safe and loved. At this point, you start to let go and sink into yourself and start becoming the Master of your own destiny.
That has huge repercussions for everyone and everything in your life (link to Reasons to Not Awaken).
From that point on, your life becomes about mastering your power, manifesting whatever it is that you desire, learning your own rules and processes and applying your knowledge in service of others. The goals that you define to help you get there are up to you. Remember, no one is assessing you, but you.
Learning to Trust Yourself
I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me this was one of the hardest lessons; learning to ignore instincts that told me in no uncertain terms that everything was going to fall apart and my path would end in disaster. It was the process of learning to let go and trust my Master. Knowing that my spirit knew what to do, even if it’s earthly manifestation had it’s doubts and that somehow, it would whisper to me whatever guidance I needed.
You see eventually you reach a point where you’ve “absorbed” (for want of a better word) all the hope and optimism that you can from other people and that awful sensation sinks in that you are the only person who can do this.
And you will.
Sure, you might stumble around for a while, but we all do. It’s part of being human. In fact, it’s precisely because I’ve made so many mistakes, that I’m such a confident, knowledgeable person now. Your own mistakes will take you to places of deep personal growth too, so never be afraid to push yourself, especially if other people say you can’t do it. Use that doubtas fuel for your own convictions, to prove how strong you are to yourself.
The process of trusting yourself is, in my experience, one of trial and error. You may be absolutely convinced something is right for you, but it turns out you were wrong, and vice versa. Instincts are only useful when they’re calibrated correctly and how can you calibrate them without first trying things and making mistakes? You try one thing and it doesn’t work, so you keep trying and trying until it does. Always remember that your instincts will tell you what you want to hear, which is fine providing you are absolutely clear on what you want. Until you are, you need to pay attention to your head, not your heart.
One final thing.
Don’t believe websites/books/videos that claim to give you a guaranteed, one-size fits all solution to finding yourself. Just $59.99! We promise it’ll work. Honestly and truly!
There is a reason these solutions never work and it’s the same reason why we don’t have only one variety of cereal at the supermarket or one brand of soap. There is always choice. Why? Everyone is different! There is no such thing as two spirits that are the same (or even remotely similar) so naturally there is no such thing as one solution that works for everyone. This is why it’s essential to trust yourself and trust in your process because your path is yours and you can’t trust anyone else to live your life for you.
They’d just screw it up!
Note: So much to include here that I didn’t even get to write about goals themselves, but I feel that deserves it’s own article anyway.